I stood and watched her. She was so perfect with her naked skin, so lustful and gentle, so little and fragile… I wanted to have her. But she didn’t even know about me. How could I go to her? How could I tell her what I feel?
I can’t. This is the simple truth. I have been alone for so long,…
Chapter 1
It was a cold, winter night. The streets were all covered in snow. The driver was driving slowly through the snow drifts. It was such a calm and silent, even relaxing night, she thought. Suddenly the night ease was torn by the heavy breathing on the side of the snowbound road. She slowly turned her head, making a sign to the driver to slow down.
“Sebastian, please stop the car.” she said calmly.
The driver stopped. He made a move to open the door, and help her out of the car but she waved with her tiny, little hand, for him not to. Slowly, she opened the car door as the group of boys stood still, observing the dark figure. A tiny, little leg left the warm comfort of the leather, expensive interior of the black Porsche Carrera, followed by a second tiny shoe. The slim luster of the black leather of her boots caught the red light of the full moon. In the next following seconds her weak body left the safety of the car, she put a black hat on her head, so her eyes remained hidden. Once she completely left the car, the boys laughed rudely. She was short, thin, and even kind of puny. Her body shivered as the cold wind touched her. She fixed the short skirt and the delicate silk blood red chemise. She fixed her tie and start walking slowly towards the guy on the ground, as the others didn’t exist.
“Raise your head.” she said gently but at the same time her voice was cold and emotionless.
“We are in the middle of something.” One of the boys said rudely. The girl didn’t respond. She offered her hand to the lying on the ground boy. Her ignorance made the attacker angry and he flourished his pipe towards her. The girl dropped on the ground before he could lay a hit on her. She swung her leg, tripping the annoying guy, his weapon left his grasp, she took it and twisted on her little feet , then hit him in the chest. He coughed out blood and fell over the ground. She tossed the ugly piece of iron and waited for the next move. The guy behind her pulled out a knife and aimed a bow, she twisted her little hand, and a cold, big black gun met her attacker’s face. He froze, terror squirt from his eyes. A few moments of silence… The wind blew harder, causing her hat to fall off, her long black hair scatter down her shoulders, back and face, and her bangs covered her right eye. The driver stood by the car without making a sound. She was looking straight into the rude stranger’s eyes. Cold, freezing look without any trace of sympathy or conscience. Like a cold blooded murderer she stood without letting the weather to set her off guard, but she was freezing, her lungs were weak, and ever since a child she was constantly sick. The driver knew that her choice of helping that stranger would cost her a lot.
“I could kill you right now and no one will ever know.”
She finally said. He swallowed. The attackers were four, but now one of them was lying unconscious on the ground, the other she was aiming a gun at and the rest looked pissed at the ridiculous scene in front of them.
“Are you gonna let that slut talk to you like that?!” one of them shouted at the terrified one. “I will be damned if I let a skirt to tell me what to do!” he added, then picked up the pipe threatening. A single shot tore the night ease. The boy dropped on the ground in a painful state, screaming and holding his leg, talking obscure, spitting and crying. She had pulled another gun and shot the unknown without even lifting her eye of the one before her.
“I highly recommend you to take your friend to a hospital”, she said after a few short moments. “Or he will bleed to death”, she added coldly.
The stranger bend, he shrug his shoulders and smiled as nicely as he could. Then picked up his unconscious friend and made a sigh to the other to do the same with the bleeding one.
“Sebastian, help him.” she said nicely and warm to the man in his mid twenty’s that now was helping to the beaten guy to stand up. He put him in the back seat, and the girl sat in front. “Home, please. I am tired.” She said to him, “hurry” she added when she buckled up.
A red moon, such a beautiful night; she was looking out of the window through the stars. The sun will rise soon. She said to herself.
Soon the car stopped. She jumped out of the car, smiling at Sebastian. She clicked a little button and the heavy front gate slid open. In a few short moments the car stopped in front the entry door. She unlocked it and with a single light push the door opened in front of her. The lamps on the both sides of the passage way lit one by one, as she moved forward, followed by the two men. She slowly loosen her tie, let the piece of cloth fall on the ground, and started to unbutton her chemise, letting go of her skirt next, soon, she was only in her underwear. She turned to Sebastian before she disappeared in the door on her left.
“Call Cathrine to take a look at him, clean him up, help him, and when he is fine, drive him home.” Then the darkness consumed her completely, and the loud music broke the silence.
It was morning. Time to sleep.
I stood and watched her. She was so perfect with her naked skin, so lustful and gentle, so little and fragile… I wanted to have her. But she didn’t even know about me. How could I go to her? How could I tell her what I feel?
I can’t. This is the simple truth. I have been alone for so long, born in misery, died in misery… Even the eternity was miserable. I was wondering why am I living so far, for what, to be honest. And yet, I met her tonight… She was with someone else… He doesn’t exist anymore. I took his life - that man wasn’t worthy of her touch, of her smile, of her so I ended him. I am not human, even when I was I knew in my heart, that doesn’t beat anymore, that I am not.
I am not a poet. I am not an artist. I am not anything. I am just a shadow that passes through the ages, unneeded, unnoticed, undying. And yet, even though my heart hasn’t made a beat in over a century – it did today. I can’t explain it, but I think I am in love, but I still don’t know her name. Am I too afraid to ask? This feeling is chaotic, it’s anarchy – I think humans call it love. But can someone like me feel something like that? Does love really exist or is it just someone’s long forgotten way of misleading things. I say ‘things’, because even humans aren’t people anymore… It is sad, truly.
I know that I didn’t see her at first. It came strong and sudden. I felt how my whole being was shaken by that aroma. I couldn’t believe it. Her fragrance was so… I can’t explain it - you have to feel it for yourself to understand. And, God, if you exist, she is amazing. I can barely see, I am so blinded by desire, but I can feel her milky skin. I can imagine how her fingers are caressing her most gentle place. I can see myself there, as her fingers, I can see myself.
I wish to take her with me; I wish to make her like me… I wish for her to wish for me.
Is it wrong of me to want her? She is still a girl… I can see – her body is still developing, but for me it is perfect. She is beautiful and beyond comparison. I wish I was an artist so I can draw her. I wish I was a poet, so I can make her into a poem.
I wish I could fuse myself with her. I wish the time never stops and I can watch her forever like that – frozen, never ending. Is it love, I wonder…? Or was I alone for way too long? Maybe my logic is twisted. One cannot just take what he needs, but I want her so strong. It’s like a storm inside me. I want her. I crave for her.
It is twisted.
It is sick.
I want her. I need her, like every living thing needs air. I need her to be my lungs, so I can once again breathe. Help me, whatever it is, whoever you are, just help me…
His body is starting to rot away. He won’t need it since he is dead. I am happy. She will look for him, but she is mine.
Mine.
But she doesn’t know. I won’t tell her. It is selfish. But I want her. She is mine, so it was right for me to kill him.
I am sick. I am lost. My mind is wondering…
I heard her scream… Her face is curved in fear. She tried to hit me.
I snapped her neck.
She is mine.
Finally, she is. Her blood is so delightful, pouring in my throat. I will drink her dry.
She is dead.
Finally she is mine.
I am happy.
